Why I hate Skunks.

First of all, I live near some woods and out in the country area. Their are Horses, Cows, and the usual things you would see in a farming type area. Where my house is located I have a pasture field on one side, and some wooded areas on the other. So it is not unusual to see some animals and rodents from time to time.

Around my house there is several birds of course, several stray and wild cats, I have seen a couple mice, and an opossum. And well there are also skunks, and I hate them the most. Let me tell you why.

Of all the animals, the skunk or skunk family that live near my house, they are the only ones that annoy me the most. The cats hung out around the house get in fights and crap I can hear them under the house and outside. That does not bother me. The Horses you would not know they were there. And the cows are far enough away that you cannot hear them. And the possum that wanders around has only been seen a couple times so I am ok with that. And I have not seen any little rodents, but I am sure being near a field that there is some. The skunks I know are there, and I know are around the house at times.

It only happens a few times a year, but this morning at about 3:00am it happened again. The skunk(s) decide to take a tour of the neighborhood and as they pass my house, I am not sure if they are leaking their stink, or if they decided to wipe their butts on my house when they go by, but whatever they do, I know. The stink is so strong it wakes me up from sleeping, and with the heat on at night and early mornings it makes it that much worse. A warm potent skunk stink comes in through every vent and invades all the clean air in the house, and is so thick it will nearly choke you. And not to mention when you get woke up by the rotten aroma, it is so thick you can almost taste it. It is also so potent that it nearly burns your nose.

Once this happens you might as well forget about falling asleep. The stench is so bad that you cannot get back to sleep once it happens. Then if you do happen to fall back asleep you wake up and all you can spell is skunk butt, and almost to the point of tasting it.

Then the worst part of it all, once the skunk wipes is butt on the house, the smell hangs around for several days. No amount of Pinesol, Lysol and Bleach can get the smell to go away. You can scrub down the whole house, light candles, spray air freshener, and so on and it does not help. The house still smells like a skunk had wiped their butt on it. And every time you walk in the door, you get hit in the face with the odor of skunk butt, and cleaning supplies.

At times I wish I had a gun. I would hunt down the darn skunks near my house and shoot them. Or maybe tranquilize them and shove some potpourri up their rears or something. Or maybe I can install an electric fence around the lower part of my house so the next time they come up and try to get near it, they get a nice jolt of electricity that pulses through their little furry body, and they can go wipe their butts on someone other house for a change. I know neither option is do-able, but it would make me feel better if I could do it.

Darn Skunks!